[The first thing Bull notes is simple: Carl's sick. He didn't pretend to understand how this weird dying and not being dead shit worked, but his coloring and everything suggested to the Qunari the boy wasn't feeling well, and that it didn't have much to do with this little impromptu meeting.
Instead of forcing liquor down the boy's throat, probably for the first time, he just pours him some water and pushes the mug across the table.]
Hey. [He makes a motion to the cup.] Drink that, but slow.
[ He takes the mug in hand, nodding his thanks as he takes careful sips. Carl didn't realize how thirsty he was until that moment. ]
Thanks.
[ He keeps the mug between his fingers, despite how chilled they already are. It helps to keep him in the moment, though his current company helps with that. ]
[ Carl keeps his focus on the mug in his hands. It helps the urge of wanting to look up, knowing the expression he sees isn't going to be a happy one. Bull can't really be blamed for it, either. Everything was a mess. ]
It won't.. [ He takes a breath, squaring his shoulders. ] Unless someone from my world dies. We're infected.
[Maybe he should go ahead and look up. The expression he finds isn't going to be judgemental. He can tell by the way he's talking, Carl's already beating himself up way more than Bull could, at least verbally.
When he does speak, he does so gently, even more so than he had been.]
[ He does glance up at Bull, though it's a very brief thing. There's a lot of emotion to read in that single eye, but it probably speaks volumes to a person like Bull. Carl fumbles for an answer, swallowing thickly. ]
[Okay, so, years of Ben-Hassrath training be damned, the only read he could get from Carl was "It Was Bad", which he could have told anyone just from the shit that went down on the Waystation.
Bull was a patient interrogator, though (and he hated thinking of it that way), so he nodded.]
Yeah, okay. What's that mean, kid? Start from the beginning. You left? The Atroma or whatever sent you home? Is that what happened?
[Carl wasn't, Bull could tell, but shit if he didn't wish he was. People could just fall asleep and-
Okay. Stay focused. Think about what that means later. There's a purpose here and it's not learning about that, though it's very good information to file away for later.
He waves a hand, signally he's done talking about the creepy coma changes.]
...okay. So, you fell asleep, and you remembered home, right? [I'm getting that right, yeah?] What happened in your memories?
We went to war with Neg-- another group that wanted us to submit. He executed two of our people in front of us by bashing their heads in. [ So. Not a good guy. ] Things got bad.. we set fire to our community and got everyone out from the sewer system.
Sounds like a great guy. [And things got bad after a public execution. Usually that's how things get settled. Unless you're a tyrant. Then, that's how rebellions start...which sounds like what happened.]
I know it spreads if they bite you, Red mentioned that, but that's why we're here, Carl, because I need to understand what happened out there. [He patted his bare chest, bare at least where the unbuttoned shirt wasn't covering.] I don't scare easy...but it was scary out there.
[ Wordlessly, Carl discretely pulls up his shirt. A clearly-visible bite wound looks barely healed over on his abdomen, on his blindside. He quickly pulls down his shirt and stays still, fingers gripping the edge of his chair until his knuckles are white.
Doesn't want to look at Bull and see what's there- can't seem to find the words now that the truth is out. He tries to calm his breathing, swallowing thickly. ]
[Carl didn't have to say anything for Bull to get the gist of the picture. One of those undead things back home took a bite out of him on the side he couldn't see until it was too late and he broke off from the group to save them. It's what Bull would have done, and what Krem would have done, too, and the more he talked to the kid, the more he reminded the Bull of his adopted...not really son, but Krem was more than his Lieutenant.]
You tried to get away, so you didn't hurt people. That takes guts, kid. It didn't work out...but you tried.
I didn't try hard enough. I should have stayed on my fucking ship.. I wouldn't have been able to leave after..
[ The Red Fish, he'd forgotten at the time, has runes inscribed through the ship to prevent anything undead from entering.. or leaving. Any one of his crew members would have been able to handle him. ]
Yeah, okay. [Bull leaned back, crossing his arms.]
Maybe you should've, but you didn't. What you should've done doesn't matter anymore, because what happened happened. We can go back and forth over it all damned day.
[And then he leaned forward, across that table, and he touched Carl's hand again, not more to get his attention, and to pull him back into the here and now again than anything.]
Yesterday happened, you can't change it. People died. Good people, people who didn't know what was happening. The world, shit, the universe is full of fucked up shit, kid. When you're in the middle of it, it feels like yours matters more than the others...but it doesn't. Millions of people die every day. Every day, innocent people are caught in the crossfire between things bigger than them, things they can't control. You can't help yesterday, you can't help the rest of them...shit...sometimes, you can't even help the people who look to you to protect them. You do what you can, and you don't dwell on what you can't...that shit'll drive you crazy.
[ People die. People die all the time, and it's such an out of control thing.. In this instance, he has to listen to Bull- listen to what his dad told him after he got Dale killed.
It's a learning experience, and the only thing that matters is not letting it happen again. Not that it can happen again, he thinks bitterly. Not dwelling on the matter is what's fucking him up. He can't seem to think about much else when he's so bone-tired all he wants to do is sleep, but the nightmares and the sense of doom loom around him like a walker waiting for a bite. ]
[He lets his words sink in a bit before pushing Carl's water closer to his hand.]
Drink your water, and then you're coming with me. You need to sleep, kid, and I know it's hard. Trust me. Sleep, and then tomorrow, you're going to meet me back here at the gym. you're pissed. You're pissed at yourself, you're pissed at the world, and if you let that fester anymore, it's going to kill you, and I'm not talking about that weird shit where you get better.
[ He nods, picking up the mug and ignoring how his hands shake. Having something to hold onto helps, and he finishes the water slowly. Carl wants to say no, that he's good. He isn't, and anyone could see that if they looked hard enough, but the thought of trying to sleep when it's nothing but nightmares of the dead- of his family's faces, and cold, shadowy hands grabbing at him from the dark which leaves him short of breath and sweating...
It's been a long goddamn time since he's been afraid of the shadows in his room, but waking up from that brings it all back and makes his head throb painfully. ]
Don't know if I can.. [ He's burning the candle from both ends, he knows, but it's about the only thing he can do. ]
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Date: 2018-06-27 09:17 pm (UTC)Instead of forcing liquor down the boy's throat, probably for the first time, he just pours him some water and pushes the mug across the table.]
Hey. [He makes a motion to the cup.] Drink that, but slow.
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Date: 2018-06-28 03:15 am (UTC)Thanks.
[ He keeps the mug between his fingers, despite how chilled they already are. It helps to keep him in the moment, though his current company helps with that. ]
So, you wanted to talk?
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Date: 2018-06-28 05:11 am (UTC)Yeah. [And his tones a bit more gentle than it had been over the comm. Carl looks like hell. He can't be too harsh on the kid.]
I need you to help me understand what happened on that waystation and how I keep it from happening again.
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Date: 2018-06-28 01:53 pm (UTC)It won't.. [ He takes a breath, squaring his shoulders. ] Unless someone from my world dies. We're infected.
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Date: 2018-07-01 02:06 am (UTC)When he does speak, he does so gently, even more so than he had been.]
...what happened, kid?
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Date: 2018-07-01 02:21 am (UTC)Nothing good. When does it ever?
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Date: 2018-07-01 04:36 am (UTC)That's not what I asked.
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Date: 2018-07-01 05:12 am (UTC)I--remembered more from home.
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Date: 2018-07-04 02:21 am (UTC)Bull was a patient interrogator, though (and he hated thinking of it that way), so he nodded.]
Yeah, okay. What's that mean, kid? Start from the beginning. You left? The Atroma or whatever sent you home? Is that what happened?
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Date: 2018-07-04 02:45 am (UTC)You don't leave..exactly. You can fall asleep and suddenly have more memories.. Happened once before. When I got this..
[ He touches his bandaged eye very briefly before his hands go back under the table. ]
It's like you left, though you're asleep. It can happen overnight or you can be asleep for weeks.
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Date: 2018-07-04 02:49 am (UTC)[Carl wasn't, Bull could tell, but shit if he didn't wish he was. People could just fall asleep and-
Okay. Stay focused. Think about what that means later. There's a purpose here and it's not learning about that, though it's very good information to file away for later.
He waves a hand, signally he's done talking about the creepy coma changes.]
...okay. So, you fell asleep, and you remembered home, right? [I'm getting that right, yeah?] What happened in your memories?
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Date: 2018-07-04 02:56 am (UTC)[ Quietly, ] I think.
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Date: 2018-07-04 03:01 am (UTC)...you think?
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Date: 2018-07-04 03:06 am (UTC)[ The silence is drawn out, and Carl's face pinches in discomfort. ]
Did..anyone tell you about my world? About how everything starts? I know.. [ He takes another shaky breath. ] I know people are talking.
[ Because who the fuck wouldn't? ]
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Date: 2018-07-04 03:14 am (UTC)I know it spreads if they bite you, Red mentioned that, but that's why we're here, Carl, because I need to understand what happened out there. [He patted his bare chest, bare at least where the unbuttoned shirt wasn't covering.] I don't scare easy...but it was scary out there.
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Date: 2018-07-04 03:28 am (UTC)Doesn't want to look at Bull and see what's there- can't seem to find the words now that the truth is out. He tries to calm his breathing, swallowing thickly. ]
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Date: 2018-07-04 03:45 am (UTC)You tried to get away, so you didn't hurt people. That takes guts, kid. It didn't work out...but you tried.
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Date: 2018-07-04 03:58 am (UTC)[ The Red Fish, he'd forgotten at the time, has runes inscribed through the ship to prevent anything undead from entering.. or leaving. Any one of his crew members would have been able to handle him. ]
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Date: 2018-07-04 04:07 am (UTC)Maybe you should've, but you didn't. What you should've done doesn't matter anymore, because what happened happened. We can go back and forth over it all damned day.
[And then he leaned forward, across that table, and he touched Carl's hand again, not more to get his attention, and to pull him back into the here and now again than anything.]
Yesterday happened, you can't change it. People died. Good people, people who didn't know what was happening. The world, shit, the universe is full of fucked up shit, kid. When you're in the middle of it, it feels like yours matters more than the others...but it doesn't. Millions of people die every day. Every day, innocent people are caught in the crossfire between things bigger than them, things they can't control. You can't help yesterday, you can't help the rest of them...shit...sometimes, you can't even help the people who look to you to protect them. You do what you can, and you don't dwell on what you can't...that shit'll drive you crazy.
action;;
Date: 2018-07-04 04:16 am (UTC)It's a learning experience, and the only thing that matters is not letting it happen again. Not that it can happen again, he thinks bitterly. Not dwelling on the matter is what's fucking him up. He can't seem to think about much else when he's so bone-tired all he wants to do is sleep, but the nightmares and the sense of doom loom around him like a walker waiting for a bite. ]
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Date: 2018-07-04 04:21 am (UTC)Drink your water, and then you're coming with me. You need to sleep, kid, and I know it's hard. Trust me. Sleep, and then tomorrow, you're going to meet me back here at the gym. you're pissed. You're pissed at yourself, you're pissed at the world, and if you let that fester anymore, it's going to kill you, and I'm not talking about that weird shit where you get better.
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Date: 2018-07-04 04:43 am (UTC)It's been a long goddamn time since he's been afraid of the shadows in his room, but waking up from that brings it all back and makes his head throb painfully. ]
Don't know if I can.. [ He's burning the candle from both ends, he knows, but it's about the only thing he can do. ]
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Date: 2018-07-04 04:57 am (UTC)When was the last time you had a sleepover?
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Date: 2018-07-04 05:00 am (UTC)My friend Jamie had a sleepover a few weeks before my dad was shot when I was twelve?
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Date: 2018-07-04 05:07 am (UTC)[He leads them out of the bar and back towards the shuttle bay.]
...how long ago was that? I'm shit at guessing human ages.
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