I know it spreads if they bite you, Red mentioned that, but that's why we're here, Carl, because I need to understand what happened out there. [He patted his bare chest, bare at least where the unbuttoned shirt wasn't covering.] I don't scare easy...but it was scary out there.
[ Wordlessly, Carl discretely pulls up his shirt. A clearly-visible bite wound looks barely healed over on his abdomen, on his blindside. He quickly pulls down his shirt and stays still, fingers gripping the edge of his chair until his knuckles are white.
Doesn't want to look at Bull and see what's there- can't seem to find the words now that the truth is out. He tries to calm his breathing, swallowing thickly. ]
[Carl didn't have to say anything for Bull to get the gist of the picture. One of those undead things back home took a bite out of him on the side he couldn't see until it was too late and he broke off from the group to save them. It's what Bull would have done, and what Krem would have done, too, and the more he talked to the kid, the more he reminded the Bull of his adopted...not really son, but Krem was more than his Lieutenant.]
You tried to get away, so you didn't hurt people. That takes guts, kid. It didn't work out...but you tried.
I didn't try hard enough. I should have stayed on my fucking ship.. I wouldn't have been able to leave after..
[ The Red Fish, he'd forgotten at the time, has runes inscribed through the ship to prevent anything undead from entering.. or leaving. Any one of his crew members would have been able to handle him. ]
Yeah, okay. [Bull leaned back, crossing his arms.]
Maybe you should've, but you didn't. What you should've done doesn't matter anymore, because what happened happened. We can go back and forth over it all damned day.
[And then he leaned forward, across that table, and he touched Carl's hand again, not more to get his attention, and to pull him back into the here and now again than anything.]
Yesterday happened, you can't change it. People died. Good people, people who didn't know what was happening. The world, shit, the universe is full of fucked up shit, kid. When you're in the middle of it, it feels like yours matters more than the others...but it doesn't. Millions of people die every day. Every day, innocent people are caught in the crossfire between things bigger than them, things they can't control. You can't help yesterday, you can't help the rest of them...shit...sometimes, you can't even help the people who look to you to protect them. You do what you can, and you don't dwell on what you can't...that shit'll drive you crazy.
[ People die. People die all the time, and it's such an out of control thing.. In this instance, he has to listen to Bull- listen to what his dad told him after he got Dale killed.
It's a learning experience, and the only thing that matters is not letting it happen again. Not that it can happen again, he thinks bitterly. Not dwelling on the matter is what's fucking him up. He can't seem to think about much else when he's so bone-tired all he wants to do is sleep, but the nightmares and the sense of doom loom around him like a walker waiting for a bite. ]
[He lets his words sink in a bit before pushing Carl's water closer to his hand.]
Drink your water, and then you're coming with me. You need to sleep, kid, and I know it's hard. Trust me. Sleep, and then tomorrow, you're going to meet me back here at the gym. you're pissed. You're pissed at yourself, you're pissed at the world, and if you let that fester anymore, it's going to kill you, and I'm not talking about that weird shit where you get better.
[ He nods, picking up the mug and ignoring how his hands shake. Having something to hold onto helps, and he finishes the water slowly. Carl wants to say no, that he's good. He isn't, and anyone could see that if they looked hard enough, but the thought of trying to sleep when it's nothing but nightmares of the dead- of his family's faces, and cold, shadowy hands grabbing at him from the dark which leaves him short of breath and sweating...
It's been a long goddamn time since he's been afraid of the shadows in his room, but waking up from that brings it all back and makes his head throb painfully. ]
Don't know if I can.. [ He's burning the candle from both ends, he knows, but it's about the only thing he can do. ]
Thank you.. I know this is probably the last thing you want to do with your time.
[ Hope you enjoy the Red Fish, Bull. There are permanent bloodstains ingrained into the walls and the floors, and it's definitely dimmer than the Heron. ]
[To his credit, Bull doesn't hesitate too much once they hit the hallway. But he does give the bloodstained walls and walkways, and the damned darkness, an uncertain look.]
Well. This place is creepy. No wonder you're having nightmares.
..Is it? Sorry. Maybe we shouldn't have done this?
[ He's so used to it, that he doesn't blink an eye at it. Once they're in front of his room, he opens the door to let them both inside. It's definitely brighter once he gets the light on, and at least looks lived in. Twolizards are chilling out in a tank that takes up most of the desk. There is a shelf filled with various knickknacks from various planets including a pet rock with sunglasses. Below the shelf, tacked to the wall are pictures from home. Young Carl and his parents on his birthday, some of just his mom, some of his dad, and one picture in a frame of himself, holding his baby sister Judith. There are a lot of pictures of her, too. ]
[At this point, the Bull has seen more shit than this, it's going to take a lot more than a bloodstained ship to freak him out...after the Fade. He takes a look around at the room without really lingering too long on the pictures, but he does note them. He also knows family's pretty important to humans, and he can note the resemblance. He's not going to bring it up. Instead, he looks to the shelf, a little under eye-level for him, and the tank with the lizards.]
Cute lizards. [And not like anything he's seen before. They're almost as colorful as the birds on Par Vollen.] And pretty.
Oh, thank you. [ He points to the one in blue and pink hues. ] That one is Iris, and the other one is Lyra. They get along pretty well for coming from other planets. Iris stays the same colors, but Lyra changes color. Sometimes it's hard to spot her.
[ He pauses. ] They're friendly- if you want to pick them up. Iris really likes strawberries, which is weird for a bearded dragon.
[ Carl laughs, surprised. ] A bearded dragon is a species of lizard, since they look more dragony than others. It'd be cool if she did breathe fire, though..
[Hey, Carl said he could pick them up, so he reached in, all careful like, to the one called Iris, who seemed fairly indifferent to the presence of Bull's hand, so he picked her up, bringing her closer to look at her.]
No, shit. Dragons are badass. She's...kinda dragony, I guess. No horns, though.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2018-07-04 03:14 am (UTC)I know it spreads if they bite you, Red mentioned that, but that's why we're here, Carl, because I need to understand what happened out there. [He patted his bare chest, bare at least where the unbuttoned shirt wasn't covering.] I don't scare easy...but it was scary out there.
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Date: 2018-07-04 03:28 am (UTC)Doesn't want to look at Bull and see what's there- can't seem to find the words now that the truth is out. He tries to calm his breathing, swallowing thickly. ]
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Date: 2018-07-04 03:45 am (UTC)You tried to get away, so you didn't hurt people. That takes guts, kid. It didn't work out...but you tried.
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Date: 2018-07-04 03:58 am (UTC)[ The Red Fish, he'd forgotten at the time, has runes inscribed through the ship to prevent anything undead from entering.. or leaving. Any one of his crew members would have been able to handle him. ]
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Date: 2018-07-04 04:07 am (UTC)Maybe you should've, but you didn't. What you should've done doesn't matter anymore, because what happened happened. We can go back and forth over it all damned day.
[And then he leaned forward, across that table, and he touched Carl's hand again, not more to get his attention, and to pull him back into the here and now again than anything.]
Yesterday happened, you can't change it. People died. Good people, people who didn't know what was happening. The world, shit, the universe is full of fucked up shit, kid. When you're in the middle of it, it feels like yours matters more than the others...but it doesn't. Millions of people die every day. Every day, innocent people are caught in the crossfire between things bigger than them, things they can't control. You can't help yesterday, you can't help the rest of them...shit...sometimes, you can't even help the people who look to you to protect them. You do what you can, and you don't dwell on what you can't...that shit'll drive you crazy.
action;;
Date: 2018-07-04 04:16 am (UTC)It's a learning experience, and the only thing that matters is not letting it happen again. Not that it can happen again, he thinks bitterly. Not dwelling on the matter is what's fucking him up. He can't seem to think about much else when he's so bone-tired all he wants to do is sleep, but the nightmares and the sense of doom loom around him like a walker waiting for a bite. ]
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Date: 2018-07-04 04:21 am (UTC)Drink your water, and then you're coming with me. You need to sleep, kid, and I know it's hard. Trust me. Sleep, and then tomorrow, you're going to meet me back here at the gym. you're pissed. You're pissed at yourself, you're pissed at the world, and if you let that fester anymore, it's going to kill you, and I'm not talking about that weird shit where you get better.
action;;
Date: 2018-07-04 04:43 am (UTC)It's been a long goddamn time since he's been afraid of the shadows in his room, but waking up from that brings it all back and makes his head throb painfully. ]
Don't know if I can.. [ He's burning the candle from both ends, he knows, but it's about the only thing he can do. ]
action;;
Date: 2018-07-04 04:57 am (UTC)When was the last time you had a sleepover?
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Date: 2018-07-04 05:00 am (UTC)My friend Jamie had a sleepover a few weeks before my dad was shot when I was twelve?
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Date: 2018-07-04 05:07 am (UTC)[He leads them out of the bar and back towards the shuttle bay.]
...how long ago was that? I'm shit at guessing human ages.
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Date: 2018-07-04 05:09 am (UTC)[ He follows Bull, because what else is he going to do? ]
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Date: 2018-07-04 05:14 am (UTC)[He looks over to him, then reaches over and puts a very large arm around Carl's very small shoulders, companionable.]
Look. Kid. I want to tell you something. The bad dreams...they get easier, but you can't run from them. It's hard, but try to remember that.
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Date: 2018-07-04 05:18 am (UTC)It's just.. a lot right now. Not that there's a good time for a nightmare..
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Date: 2018-07-04 05:38 am (UTC)Yeah, I know. You won't be alone.
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Date: 2018-07-04 03:43 pm (UTC)[ Hope you enjoy the Red Fish, Bull. There are permanent bloodstains ingrained into the walls and the floors, and it's definitely dimmer than the Heron. ]
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Date: 2018-07-04 04:48 pm (UTC)[Outside of a contract, there were few things the Bull did he didn't want to do, after all.]
Besides, sleepovers are fun.
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Date: 2018-07-04 05:04 pm (UTC)[ Once they actually get to the Red Fish, he nods down the main hall. ]
My room is this way.
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Date: 2018-07-04 05:09 pm (UTC)Well. This place is creepy. No wonder you're having nightmares.
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Date: 2018-07-04 05:32 pm (UTC)[ He's so used to it, that he doesn't blink an eye at it. Once they're in front of his room, he opens the door to let them both inside. It's definitely brighter once he gets the light on, and at least looks lived in. Two lizards are chilling out in a tank that takes up most of the desk. There is a shelf filled with various knickknacks from various planets including a pet rock with sunglasses. Below the shelf, tacked to the wall are pictures from home. Young Carl and his parents on his birthday, some of just his mom, some of his dad, and one picture in a frame of himself, holding his baby sister Judith. There are a lot of pictures of her, too. ]
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Date: 2018-07-04 05:52 pm (UTC)[At this point, the Bull has seen more shit than this, it's going to take a lot more than a bloodstained ship to freak him out...after the Fade. He takes a look around at the room without really lingering too long on the pictures, but he does note them. He also knows family's pretty important to humans, and he can note the resemblance. He's not going to bring it up. Instead, he looks to the shelf, a little under eye-level for him, and the tank with the lizards.]
Cute lizards. [And not like anything he's seen before. They're almost as colorful as the birds on Par Vollen.] And pretty.
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Date: 2018-07-04 07:02 pm (UTC)[ He pauses. ] They're friendly- if you want to pick them up. Iris really likes strawberries, which is weird for a bearded dragon.
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Date: 2018-07-04 07:19 pm (UTC)[Look. He's not even kidding, okay?]
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Date: 2018-07-04 07:22 pm (UTC)action;;
Date: 2018-07-04 07:38 pm (UTC)No, shit. Dragons are badass. She's...kinda dragony, I guess. No horns, though.
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